Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation 2025-08-26T11:50:58Z https://www.dacooklaw.com/feed/atom/ WordPress /wp-content/uploads/sites/1602342/2021/03/cropped-Favicon-32x32.png On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Planning for your future]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46106 2021-03-15T06:01:44Z 2020-07-06T05:39:30Z I have learned through experience that everyone, no matter your age needs to have a plan.  If you are recently divorced, you are realizing that all the things you thought your partner would do for you is over. If you are parenting alone or co-parenting, you need a plan that assures your future and the future of your children. And if you remarry, you definitely need a plan for your children. Dying is not the issue.  It is inevitable the we will die. It is living that you are planning for. My parents died of cancer in their early sixties.  Way too early and way too young. Cancer does not discriminate; cancer can happen to anyone. I can say that cancer can create a valuable end of life experience.  There is time to say good bye and “I love you,” there is time to talk and understand and impart last stories.  And there is time to plan. My in-laws are aging, and I am learning about another way of dying, Alzheimer’s.  The incapacity to remember and the inability to plan. There are four important documents for every family.
  1. A Florida conformed will, signed, witnessed by two parties and notarized. This is how you protect your children and ensure that your family will be included in the children’s future relationships.  A hospital napkin will not suffice.
  2. A Living Will to specify directions to use for life prolonging procedures. This is how you ensure that someone you love is making medical decisions for you if you are unable to do so yourself.
  3. A Designated Health Care Surrogate to designate a person to make health care decisions for you if you are unable to do so yourself.
]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Disabilites]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46105 2021-04-07T21:30:14Z 2020-07-06T05:39:21Z

Disabilites

STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS I have two learning-disabled children who are now successful adults.  I learned to admire the way they faced challenges and adjusted to change. They have taught me more than they will ever know. This experience has been helpful in my professional life as well.  It is not infrequent in dysfunction relationships that communication is the stem of the problem. All people listen differently, communicate differently and absorb data differently. Imagine how this is important in a mediation process. If your communication skills are challenged, you may need more time to commit to life changing decisions.  You need a professional at your side who helps to recognize your processing skills. These are silent disabilities.  That is why you need to have a relationship with your counsel. You need to know each other and anticipate the support that you need, and your counsel can give. Today, I continue to volunteer in Orange County Public Schools with young learners. I read books to kindergarten and first graders and I have four rules: 1. Use your imagination, 2. Respect each other, 3. Respect each other’s boundaries, and 4. Love one another. The students lay their heads on the table, close their eyes, listen with their ears to the book I read and let their imaginations imagine. THIS WORKS FOR ADULTS TOO. I have realized that this is a good habit for adults too. I work with families with various degrees of stress.  Respecting each other, listening with your ears and letting your imagination soar can be the best three rules to resolving your stress. Because of my respect for different learners, I have been voted Orange County Public School volunteer of the year two times, once at the elementary school and once for the entire county. I think I can share some helpful strategies towards your success.]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Successful Learning Disabled Students]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46119 2021-03-15T06:01:53Z 2020-05-25T05:40:24Z

Learning Disabled Students

STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS I have two learning-disabled children who are now successful adults.  I learned from them to admire the way they faced challenges and adjusted to change. They have taught me more than they will ever know. Today, I continue to volunteer in Orange County Public schools with young learners. I read books to kindergarten and first graders and I have four rules: 1. Use your imagination, 2. Respect each other, 3. Respect each other’s boundaries, and 4. Love one another.  The students lay their heads on the table, close their eyes, listen with their ears to the book I read and let their imaginations soar. THIS WORKS FOR ADULTS TOO. I have realized that this is a good habit for adults too. I work with families with various degrees of stress.  Respecting each other, listening with your ears and letting your imagination soar can be the best three rules to resolving your stress. I have been voted Orange County School volunteer of the year two times, once at the elementary school and once for the entire county. I think I can share some helpful strategies towards your success.]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Living Will and Health Care Surrogate]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46117 2021-03-15T06:01:56Z 2020-05-25T05:40:16Z

Planning for your family’s future

I am going to die. You are going to die. It is an inevitable part of living. My parents died of cancer in their early sixties.  Way too early and way too young. Cancer does not discriminate, cancer can happen to any one. I can say that Cancer can create a valuable end of life experience.  There is time to say good bye and “I love you,” there is time to talk and understand and impart last stories.  And there is time to plan. My in-laws are aging and I am learning about another way of dying, Alzheimer’s.  The incapacity to remember and the inability to plan. There are four important documents for every family. 1. A Florida conformed will, signed, witnessed by two parties and notarized. A hospital napkin will not suffice. 2.  A Living Will to specify directions to use for life prolonging procedures. 3    A Designated Health Care Surrogate to designate a person to make health care decisions for you if you are unable to do so yourself. 4.   A Durable Power of Attorney, for your designated relative or friend to care for your finances and decision making in case you are unable to make those decisions on your own.]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[What Happens When One Spouse Wants the House?]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46115 2021-03-15T06:01:59Z 2020-05-25T05:40:06Z What happens when one spouse wants the house? Very often the house is the hottest topic in a divorce. Sometimes it is because the house has sentimental value, or it is the home for the children. If you are lucky, it may be because there is unrealized financial value. Whatever the reason there are several things to consider. In Florida the term for dividing assets is called “equitable distribution.” “Equitable” suggests that assets are divided equally between the parties. That does not necessarily mean that the house is divided in half. It usually means that after all the assets are counted up the couple finds a way to distribute the financial value equally. So, if the house is important to you, maybe you can have the house. Most families have a mortgage, so part of the house is encumbered by debt. If one party wants the house, usually the other party wants off the mortgage. Although you may be financially prepared to pay the mortgage, are you financially able to qualify for the mortgage? If you have an income, it is possible to qualify for a mortgage. In many cases, the mortgage is contingent upon both parties being wage earners.

Here are some hints for your own protection:

1. Before signing a settlement agreement that requires a spouse to refinance, check with a lender for pre-approval. At the very least, if there are obstacles you will be aware of them before signing an agreement. 2. Check the title transfers. This will provide valuable information that the home is not encumbered by liens. You must also have a properly executed quit claim deed to remove one spouse from the title. It is also recommended to purchase title insurance. 3. Get financial advice from a qualified financial planner. They will be able to provide advice on the broader picture of your financial circumstances, thus preparing you for the unforeseen expenses of homeownership.]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Divorce is Stressful]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46113 2021-03-15T06:02:04Z 2020-05-25T05:39:57Z

THE STRESS OF DIVORCE IS PAINFUL

The stress of divorce is a painful journey for the children too no matter what age they might be.  It is important that your children know that they are not the reason for your divorce. It is not unusual for a child of any age to wonder, “if I had been a little bit better, would my parents still be together?”  Or “if I show them how upset I am, will my parents get their act together and stay together? You know that a divorce in an adult decision, the break down is between the husband and the wife.  Marriage and divorce is a two-party relationship, it does not include the children. Whether your children are preschoolers or adults living on their own. You, as the parent, are the leader.  It is your job to provide honest communication.  It is your position to ensure their security in your love. It is your job to set your boundaries of acceptable behavior. COMMUNICATE Look for ways to demonstrate your strength to your children, to teach them that when thing are unpredictable and frightening that you do your best to deal with each circumstance, and despite your adversity everyone- you and the children -will be alright. Communicate in words, communicate in actions, and communicate your love.]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Depression and Divorce]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46110 2021-03-15T06:02:07Z 2020-05-25T05:39:49Z

Depression after Divorce

Divorce is a sad time for anyone. It is a natural cause for depression. How do you know when you are coming out of it? Good question! You will know when you wake up in the morning and don’t immediately feel like you can’t wait to get back in bed. You will know when you do not have the tight feeling in your chest like something bad is going to happen. Things that used to scare you don’t anymore. You will know when you look in the mirror and you don’t have to remind yourself to smile; you will be smiling. You will know when you start to think good things about yourself. You will start to feel powerful and energetic. You will have more moments of peace. You will be “you” again and the change will be all for the good]]> On Behalf of Deborah A. Cook Law & Mediation <![CDATA[Divorce and Co-Parenting]]> https://www.dacooklaw.com/?p=46108 2021-04-07T21:29:55Z 2020-05-25T05:39:39Z

Divorce and Co-Parenting Benefits

Many people think that marriage is a 50/50 gamble. Divorce rates reached their peak in the 1980’s and they have been declining ever since.  Mostly this number reflects the many families who never marry in the first place.  Whether you are seeking a divorce , or an unmarried relationship is breaking up, your children are among the many who shuttle from mother’s house to father’s house on a regular basis. This is called “co-parenting.”Families are adapting better and better. Over time the families grow to include new spouses and sometimes more children. When divorced spouses become confident parents and establish stable relationships with other partners, their ability to effectively communicate with each other improves. Improved communication creates a secure and stable environment for their children too. Often, I recommend co-parenting tools such as Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard.  These communication forms separate your parenting from texting and calling.  The conversations are in one place, you have the ability to confidently share the children’s schedules, and the assurance that the message was reviewed.]]>